The Love Scout

Peter Finch asked:


You have found your Filipina dream girl at last. She seems perfect. Your profiles and interests match and complement each other, and you think you are ready to spend eternity with her. Now comes the question- is she genuine or not?

Lara, 21, is a pretty lass who was not able to finish elementary school because of poverty. She can barely read and write but has her looks to make up for it. She is in deep trouble because her 53-year old American fiance whom she met through the internet is coming and she is afraid her secret will be out. For a year, she had been chatting with him through the help of Manang Liz, a woman in her late forties who make a living out of girls like Lara.

Manang Liz does the typing and the whole conversation while Lara (and all her other clients) just sit beside her looking pretty, smiling at the webcam and pretending to type. She relies on Manang Liz to translate the conversation.

Joyce, 23 is facing a different dilemma. Her fiance is also coming to the Philippines in a few months and she is afraid of meeting him. They chatted almost everyday, had been technically sweethearts for two years, and she has been receiving a monthly allowance from him. The big hitch is that Joyce is not a girl but a guy. And the problem is she had fallen deeply in love with her fiance who thinks she is very much a female.

Lindy’s boyfriend will be visiting the Philippines to meet her soon. She is worried because like Joyce, she has been receiving regular allowance from her boyfriend. Lindy swears she is in love with him. She however forgot to tell him that she is very much married with four children and has been using her allowance from him to help defray household expenses. You might say these are made-up situations to but sad to say, these are real-life stories gleaned from conversations in internet cafes.

How can you tell if she is genuine or not? Through the course of your online correspondence, you should already have a large bank of information about your Filipina girlfriend gleaned from bits and pieces of conversation.

Why not keep track of all your conversations since Day 1 or on the day you started to get serious? Later on you can review these conversations and read between the lines. You will be shocked to unearth a lot of revelations that did not seem to matter much while you were still chatting.

Force your intuition to work. You should be able to sense if something is not right, maybe a line here or there that would show inconsistency that would give her away. Check her e-mails for subtle signs to make you suspicious from the start. Did she provide you with a home address or telephone number? If she did, did you try to contact her? If she comes out clean and genuine, then what are you waiting for?

Joe Silla asked:

#1 goal is to make sure that the bride’s wishes are carried out the way that she wants them to be.  The mother of the bride is there to help her to make sure that what she wants and what she needs happens. 

It is very important that the mother of the bride allows for the bride’s tastes, desires and needs to be provided for.  This does not mean that they can dictate what happens, but rather should insure that what does is what the bride wants.

As one of the largest role players, here are her responsibilities:

-    The Wedding Attire.  The mother of the bride should help to find the perfect dress for the wedding, including undergarments and accessories.  Not your tastes, but hers should come through.

-    Guest Lists.  The mother of the bride should help to organize guest lists, coordinating with the mother of the groom.  If the mother of the groom does not contact her, she should make the first attempt. 

-    Help the bride and groom determine their wedding budget.  While she should not do all the work, she should help them allocate where money is going and what are the important aspects to consider.

-    Out of Town Guests.  Those guests that are coming from out of town on the bride’s side of the family should be well taken care of by the mother of the bride. 

Arranging accommodations and transportation for them is her responsibility.  Often this can be minimized if a block of rooms is available to guests at the local hotels as needed by the mother of the bride.

-    Wedding Gowns.  You will select your wedding dress first, but you need to immediately tell the mother of the groom what style and color it is so that she can match or coordinate hers with yours.

-    Wedding Ceremony.  The mother of the bride will need to insure that all the direction for the wedding is given and understood.  Where will people stand, sit and how it all will happen are just a few of these concerns.  Insure that the receiving line is set up properly as well.

-    Hostess.  As the mother of the bride, you are the hostess of the reception.  Have someone help you to plan and execute it.

charli jhonson asked:


Modern as we are today, especially in the western countries, there are not much to be found of what we call long-term relationships or long-term commitment. With the modern lifestyle, men and women are already focused on their careers and other things rather than raising a family. They prefer the “no stings attached” relationships, but the pleasure it gives them is only temporary or superficial. But that’s the way some choose it to be. However, there are still men who seek stable, long-term, married life; enjoying their wife and children.

These men make the mail order bride work. They often are looking for women from other countries that share the same feelings as they are. Popular to western men are women or brides from Europe, particularly from Russia, Belarus, Ukraine and Georgia. Mail order bride has become a phenomenon. Success stories here and there; from agencies as well as from the actual people who had benefited from the services. However, before you are overwhelmed with these stories, a word of caution – investigate first before choosing. There are fakes as well as scams around. So, it is important to confirm the authenticity of information before you engage into a transaction.

Investigate and confirm. Do your own research, use our instincts and observe for signs of fraud. Sometimes, these scammers sense that you are desperate in your search and they would take advantage of this weakness. This is where they can start on you. So, be aware and be observant. There are a lot of ways to be scammed, like some girls just want to extort money from you, others would just use you as a vehicle to migrate or move to you country and many more. Here are some signs and also steps how to overcome or confirm authenticity of the information you are getting.

1.      A picture was sent to you from a match. A scammer will send a picture of somebody else and not her. To counter this, you may request to chat using web cam. This would confirm if the picture and the one communicating to you is the same. Also, observe her responses when you request to communicate thru web cam.

2.      Another situation that you should note for is during a conversation after a while of communication with each other. She will express love and say many lovely things to you. However, you have to be very observant and vigilant when you discuss about money and visa. Feel if she is authentic or just using you.

3.      After several days or months of communication, scammers will storm you of fake stories like how she become broke, that her family cannot afford the basic necessities of living or even her family is urging her to marry a rich man to uplift their living conditions and other depressing stories. What’s the reason behind all these stories? She wants to get your sympathy and eventually gets you to send her financial support. Naturally, if you are already in an ongoing long distance relationship with her, you will be obliged or urged to do so, however, you need to really discern if she is telling the truth. Of course, all of us wants to help a person in need, however, do not be scammed. You want to show sincere feelings by helping, ensure also that she is really in need and sincere of her feelings to you.

4.      Further, if you are already sending her financial support, notice if her needs increase every time you discuss about it. Some more depressing stories are brought up. Again, if you feel that the burden of providing for her family and more are on your shoulders, think again. She should be the only responsibility to you, at least now.

 If these stories are untrue, then maybe she is using your money somewhere else. Be aware of how she uses the money you send her. Look for signs of somehow letting you know where she used it, maybe showing bills or pictures or other proofs. Straight women know the meaning of liquidation however informal it is. They know that they are handling somebody else’s money.

While it is true that today it is easy to meet somebody you choose to become your wife thru the Internet, it is also very true that these because it is virtual in nature it is not free from scams and frauds. These are just some hints to prevent you from being victimized. Prevention is better than cure. Ignorance excuses no one. You are old enough to know what you are doing and you are responsible for your actions.

Though Russian and Ukrainian women are on the top list as the most preferred mail order brides, not all of them are fraud. You can still find that loving, elegant yet family oriented Russian bride.

Peter Finch asked:


After you have found the girl of your life and your dating has grown into a serious relationship, it will be the time to ask for her hand. Below are a few tips on how to act during the engagement and on the wedding itself.

Russian girls grow up fast. The economical and political situation in modern Russia often forces them to start work even in high school to make their living and help their families. Many teenage Russian girls prefer to work as waitresses or dancers in the international travel industry, because this lets them into a completely different world, where money is not a problem and fun never ends. This does not mean that they are selling their bodies and souls for a big tip. Our advice is never to make any hints about this to your date.

These girls start struggling with life early and desperately and foreigners should respect them. Western society is full of gold digging ladies who will cheat on you and laugh in your face just because you have said something not in time. Unlike them Russians are loyal and polite partners in relationships and will expect the same from you.

After you have proven that you are with your Russian date, not only because of her beautiful eyes but because you like her personality and internal charm, probably you are already thinking to ask her hand.

Modern Russian tradition provides for the engagement ceremony from two weeks to one year before marriage. Usually the bridegroom should prepare a romantic atmosphere and easy mood, as well as being in possession of the engagement ring. The family’s opinion is not so important nowadays though our advice is to pay attention to this as well as to your beloved.

After you have received the exciting “yes” of your future wife, it is time to meet her family if you have not still done this. You will be expected to act with modesty and respect. In Russia age differences matter and no matter the fact that you have achieved much in life, education and prosperity, you should not overexpose your self esteem.

Be careful what you say. Many Russians nowadays understand English though they can not speak it so any spoken thought that are not very kind should be kept private.

Local people are warm and hospitable and marriage is extremely precious moment in everyone’s life. Wedding ceremonies are turned into big parties lasting sometimes more than two or three days. Be sure that you will meet various family members from grandparents to far cousins and aunts who have come to share this happy moment with you.

Do not neglect them dreaming only to retire with your bride. Prepare for many hugs and kisses from people who you barely know or have not seen at all. This is their way to show you that they like you and accept you in the family.

Your Russian girl will be next to you during these dramatic days for every foreigner. If you have questions regarding the rituals and customs, do not be afraid to ask. You are not expected to know everything and she will love to explain to you the whats and why something is happening.

Last but not least, if you have not learned it until now, it is time to remember, cheers in Russian is nazdarovie!

Bob Miles asked:


Disclaimer: This article contains general observations about US visa applications for of overseas brides, and is not intended to be taken as legal advice. Be aware as well that US immigration law changes quite frequently. Seek the advice of an immigration attorney before applying for a US visa process on behalf of an overseas bride.

Please don’t kill the messenger, but I have some bad news – the term “mail order bride” is not meant to be taken literally – she cannot actually be mailed to you J. Once you find an overseas bride, you will need to help her get a US visa. As your wife she will be eligible for a green card and eventual US citizenship. In many cases an international matchmaking agency can assist you in the US visa process. If it can’t, then should see an immigration attorney. There are two primary methods for your overseas bride to enter the US (not including a rubber dinghy over the Rio Grande) – on a Fiancee Visa (K-1 visa) if you plan to marry in the US, or on a US immigration visa if you plan to marry abroad.

A K-1 fiancée visa takes at least six months in the pipeline (and be sure not to listen to the scammers who may try to tell you of a supposed “K-9 visa” for extremely unattractive brides). Once she enters the US, you will have to either marry her or take her back out of the USA within a specified period (usually 90 days). After you marry her you will have to apply for permanent residence on her behalf.

Alternatively, you could marry her in her country, in which case she would need an immigration visa to enter the US. This takes longer, but is thought to be easier to get.

For further details, please visit the webs site of a US Embassy or consulate in your bride’s home country, or talk to an immigration attorney.