The Love Scout

Why are so many American men seeking brides from abroad when there are so many single women at home? There are several reasons:

(1) Nobody at home wants to marry them (in some cases)

Unfortunately, the popular image of the alcoholic, abusive loser who takes a foreign bride because no local woman will marry him is sometimes accurate. It would certainly be painting with too broad a brush to say that all American men who seek international brides are like this, the abusive personality does seem to be well represented among men seeking bride from overseas. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it – the foreign bride often knows very little about her husband when she comes over. By the time she discovers who he really is, she is far from home, economically dependent, unable to afford to go back home, and sometimes pregnant. Abusers sometimes take full advantage of this situation by forcing their brides to submit to treatment that few American women would put up with.

(2) Citizenship in a prosperous Western nation greatly increases their position in the marriage market. The hope of a new life in rich America (or some other Western country) is certainly the top reason why women from third world countries wish to marry Western men (if you don’t think so, ask yourself how many of these women pursue men from Peru or Indonesia). Since the number of women is far greater than the number of Western men looking for them, supply and demand favors the Western man. It thus becomes no problem at all for a man in his 50s to marry a 20-year-old Chinese model, for example.

(3) A lot of American men don’t like American women. One could say that opposite attract, but complaints abound among a certain segment of American men that feminism has gone too far, that it no longer has anything to do with equal rights or fairness, and that it has morphed US women into a third gender – neither masculine nor feminine, confused about their gender identity, and forever competing rather than cooperating to prove that “women can do anything men can do”. This silent war between the sexes creates a competitive atmosphere, some say, that destroys any chance for true intimacy between spouses. Because of this, American men turn to foreign countries to find a bride (and American women increasingly look overseas for husbands!).

Overview: Mail order brides are women from foreign countries who advertise themselves for the purpose of getting married to a person who is a citizen of a developed country, like the United States of America. There are more than 200 different services through which a young mail order bride can find her foreign husband. If a foreign woman wants to find her groom in the U.S.A, she must register in a reliable agency, which in turn will list her in a catalog. Mail order brides should provide information like their names, photos, biographical sketches, and addresses via paper application or through internet. The agencies will provide photos and description of mail order brides for free of cost. But, if a man would like to have their mail address, he must pay a fee ranging from two to five dollars.

Another means of finding an offshore spouse is through emails. More than 10,000 foreign women have registered in authentic sites. When compared with mail order brides, email brides are well educated. They are usually PhD holders, professionals, or doctors, who want to live and work in the U.S.A. Finding an offshore spouse via email has gained immense popularity these days.

It has been estimated that every year 100,000 to 150,000 women from different countries advertise for marriages. Mail order brides or email brides are usually from countries like Russia, Brazil, China, Philippines, Thailand, Colombia, Venezuela, Mexico, Honduras, and Cuba.

Why do U.S. citizens prefer mail order brides?

1. Broad range of options to select your life partner

2. Chances to meet well-educated foreign brides online

3. Exposure to diversified lifestyle in terms of culture, tradition, appearance, and much more

Approximately, 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides have been reported. The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) states that marriages arranged through emails have a higher success rate.

Although finding a young mail order bride has various advantages, you should also be careful about fraudulent websites. Some sites will take your money and will not provide you with information on email brides. In order to avoid alleged marriage fraud, the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) has made the naturalization process more secured. To reduce the abuse of mail order brides and to regulate for-profit dating websites and agencies, the U.S. Government has passed the “International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005″ (IMBRA). But, to avoid the emotional pain due to fraud marriages, you can get professional help from USAMarriageVisas.com. They sell an eBook that helps in various processes in finding the right mail order bride. This eBook will also show you how to search for a young mail order bride, how to communicate with them, how to introduce your spouse to your family members, and much more. This eBook from USAMarriageVisas.com is a real boon to you if you are in search of an offshore spouse.

Chinese marriage is generally looked upon as an occasion for extending family. The whole process goes an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance. Generally, middle man plays a great role in solemnizing the marriage.

Marriage proposal comes from the boy’s side. Marriage is considered important for continuing the ancestral line and creating alliances. Important parties in proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents of the prospective bride and groom.

When the boy and girl attain the marriage age, the search for the prospective life partner is started. Generally, the boy’s parents after selecting a particular girl sent a middle man to her house. He is accompanied by number of gifts. If the girl’s parents accept the proposal, they will tell the middle man date and hour of the girl’s birth which will be recorded in a document.

This document is kept on family’s alter for three days. If it does not present any bad omen like family quarrel or loss of property, then the girl will be considered favorable for the groom.

Only then the birth time of the boy will be conveyed to the girl parents. When complete compatibility is ascertained, face to face meeting is fixed by both of the parties. Education, family status and wealth are evaluated. Only after complete satisfaction, the marriage date is fixed.

Marriage tokens are exchanged between the two families. Then the bargaining is made to arrive at the cost of the gifts and goods that will be given to the bride’s family. An auspicious date is generally decided for the marriage.

The girl is given gifts by the bridal family which includes cash, tea, wine, tobacco and bridal cakes. Bridal cakes are distributed among friends and relatives. It is a form of announcement for the wedding. Boy’s family is given the gifts by the girl’s family.

Boy’s family recognizes the efforts of the parents in raising up a girl so they sent a number of gifts for the girl’s family and by accepting them, her parents pledge her to the boy. In Chinese marriage, girl is given to the family rather than to the boy alone.

After some days, dowry is sent to groom’s house. It consists of pot consisting of coins and fruits. In this way, girl’s family find an opportunity to display their wealth and love for their daughter.

In Chinese marriages, a girl generally lives a life of isolation away from daily routine. She is accompanied by her friends. Songs are sung. Often her friends would say taunts for the parents and middle man who have arranged for her separation with her parents.

On wedding day, girl takes bath in water containing the grape water and perfumes to ward off the evil spirits. Hair is done in beautiful style by a good luck woman. A good luck woman is that who is married and is having children.

Then she is carried on to the main hall by the lucky woman on her back. Then she puts on her jacket and skirt. Red shoes are put on in her feet. Her face is covered by the silk veil. Then she bowed before her parents to seek their blessings.

Groom is dressed in a long red gown, red shoes and a red silk sash over his shoulder; he bowed in front of his parents. Red cap is put over his head and the whole procession leads for the bride’s house. Crackers are burnt and drums are played to ward off the evil spirits.

Groom takes meals with the girl’s family where he is presented with chopsticks. Special dishes are served to him. Then bride is carried at a sedan chair to the groom’s house.

Couple wed is decorated beautifully. Dates, grapes and pomegranates are spread on the bed and children are made to sit on the bed. This is done to bless the couple with lots of children and happy married life.

Chinese Weddings

Chinese weddings are often steeped in tradition. Thus, for Chinese wedding dresses, red is normally the traditional color and white is not recommended. The red color also applies to many Asian cultures. Red is preferred because it is central to most of their themes. From wedding favors, invitations to dresses, the color red always features prominently. From the decorations to the bride’s dress, red must be visible.

Chinese Wedding Dress

The traditional bridal dress is usually a one-piece frock referred to as Qi Pao, embroidered using elaborate silver and gold designs. Southern China brides normally wear a two-piece called Cheongsam or Qun Gua Kwa, which is also adorned, elaborately by golden dragon and phoenix. The dress is normally red in color because red is believed to be a strong good luck color keeping away evil spirits.

Traditionally, a red veil piece was part of the bride’s outfit for covering her face during the ceremony. Phoenix and dragon bridal dress designs symbolized the balance of female and male power. The bride is often seen with the red veil that covering her head and sometimes her face. Among the most prominent features in these weddings is the bridal gown. A majority of the brides wear up to six dresses in a single wedding night. Nothing matches the passion and charm of red Chinese wedding dresses in the ceremony.

Choosing a Chinese Wedding Dress

Choosing the wedding gown is a very important decision. The dress sets the tone of the entire ceremony and therefore the bride should feel special and comfortable in the gown. It is vital to ensure this while choosing the dress. Thus, one is advised to shop at a renowned designer to ensure authenticity. However, one should consider their budgets before making a purchase. With this, one should also consider alternate options for instance, renting the wedding gown.

Some prospective couples prefer a themed ceremony to complement their renaissance or medieval wedding dress. For them, nothing utters romance than traveling back in time. Whatever dresses a bride decides to allocate for their wedding, choosing a dress that exudes the beauty and aura of the bride in the best manner possible. A bride can choose a gown with traditional embellishments looking like a bell-shaped skirt with a modern fitting or lace made using satin and decorated with beautiful frills. Select long Chinese wedding dresses with mind-blowing decorations made of flower patterns. Some embroidery and beadwork can add up to the dress’s beauty.

The dresses are mostly presented with long low lines; choose cut sleeves to present one in a moderate way. Consider a large selection of marriage dresses that come in different materials, sizes and styles for a Chinese bridal gown. When ordering a gown, always give one’s right measurements. Give it arty to see if it fits and point out all shortcomings and correct them.

A wedding is a special moment therefore the wedding gown chosen must serve to exude this importance in the entire ceremony. Every bride should ensure that the attire chosen is comfortable so that she is at ease in all the activities of that special day.

The procedures of an ancient Chinese marriage are captured in the phrase “Three (3) Letters and Six (6) Etiquettes”.

What are the three letters?

The Three Letters are the engagement letter, the delivery of gifts letter and the taking of the bride letter.

In ancient times, if a man is interested in a woman, he will engage a middlemen (a middle-women actually) to explore the possibility and if appropriate to convey his intentions to the woman’s family. If the woman’s family finds him acceptable, they will notify him and he can make the official proposal by delivering the formal letter of engagement on an auspicious date.

At this stage the women’s family can still say no to the proposal. As you would expect there are still a lot of things to sort out and to negotiate over.

If the proposal is accepted, the next step is to deliver wedding gifts to the woman’s family. These wedding gifts which are normally expensive are accompanied by the ‘Delivery of Gift’ letter which is essentially a list of items and quantity much like a delivery order! By signing this letter and taking delivery of the gifts, it signifies the women’s family acceptance of the marriage.

The itemized ‘Delivery of Gift’ letter is also a safeguard against pilferage by the delivery team!

The third letter is known as the ‘Taking the Bride’ Letter as it is the letter that the groom produces when he arrives at the bride’s home on the wedding day. Upon acceptance of the letter, the bride is deemed to have joined the groom and become a member of the groom’s family.

It is no wonder why the bride mothers weep uncontrollably on wedding days. It is like losing a daughter!

What then are the Six Etiquettes?

It refers to the six main procedures in an ancient Chinese marriage. It includes the official proposal, the checking of Ba Zi (compatibility using a system of Chinese Astrology), selection of auspicious date for the wedding, delivery of gifts, confirmation of wedding dates and finally the wedding itself.

Once the man has set his eyes on the girl, he sends an official proposal to the woman’s family. Once the proposal is accepted, he will seek the services of an astrologer to determine if they are compatible. Research will also be done to ensure that there is no blood relationship between them. At this stage the engagement can be called off if they are not compatible or if their blood line are somewhat connected.

The next step is the selection of auspicious date for wedding followed by followed by the delivery of gifts.

After the gifts are accepted, the woman’s family will seek an astrologer to check the auspiciousness of the proposed wedding.

This followed by the six and final etiquette, the wedding itself!